Wednesday, January 30, 2008

American Idol

The thing about Idol I don't get is when someone gets a thumbs up from Randy, a thumbs up from Paula, and then stands there like an idiot waiting for Simon's approval. Hey dipshit, you did it, you're going to Hollywood! Who gives a shit what Simon says, get the fuck out of there and start pounding the mojitos for fuck's sake. Christ. I don't watch a girl in my bed take off her clothes and get on all fours and then wait for her to present a note from her father, do I? Guts: already hit.

Oh, and ladies: might wanna stop choosing Aretha songs to cover. Seriously. Some of you do have good voices, but the last thing you want someone to do is sit back and think "boy, that Aretha sure could sing, couldn't she?" and then have to sit there and listen to your sorry ass. Do I show Ron Jeremy tapes in the boudoire before my acrobatics? Nyet. Me, I walk in there and announce I'm doing Ashlee Simpson at the Orange Bowl. See ya in Hollywood.

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