Sunday, January 27, 2008

Lies I Told a Blonde Chick from Wisconsin I Was Trying to Hook Up with Last Night

1) I served as Attorney General of Wisconsin
2) For 2 terms
3) I popularized the expression "squeeze me!" while trying to get thru a crowd
4) I also invented the ol' "wait til person is about to open passenger side door then move the car up 3 feet, then repeat" routine
5) I lost the part of Ricky Shroeder's best friend to Jason Bateman "because of his cocksucker uncle" (stare off into space, lost in anger for 8 seconds)
6) I can't BELIEVE I'm 26; that's way too old!

Sigh. Success? Cheerio!

3 comments:

Gina said...

she wasn't actually a blonde, nor was she from Wisconsin, was she?

Where does it stop, Xmastime?!

Anonymous said...

and yes, i tried not to piss myself when I heard you say you were the attorney general.

Xmastime said...

twice!!