Monday, February 11, 2008

Channeling Raissman

My main man Mad Dog is driving me crazy with his asinine arguments about the Clemens fiasco. First off, he announces early on every day that no matter what evidence shows up, Clemens is G-U-I-L-T-Y! He screams that there is nothing in the world that could change his mind. So right away here's someone who's openly declared he's shutting off his mind to any further evidence should it actually help Roger, doesn't wanna hear it, doesn't matter, GUILTY. As a side note, any fan that calls in and tries to make an argument in Clemens' favor is quickly dismissed by Dog as a Yankee fanatic who cant' see past pinstripes, so he shouldn't be taken seriously. Which is interesting, because you would be hard-pressed to find a more vocal, irrational Yankee hater than Dog.

So now Dog moves on to tell us that he's absolutely certain that McNamee, now Pope Brian I guess, is telling the truth about Clemens because he told the truth about Pettitte. Dog declares that whatever McNamee says about Clemens has to be true because he was right about Pettitte. Stamped/approved/sealed! By this logic, wouldn't ANYTHING McNamee now says be christened as absolutley true by Dog? What if McNamee came out and said he once gave Dog a handjob - by Dog's logic, wouldn't we have to accept this as truth, since after all McNamee did say one true thing in his life?

And his latest nugget is yammering on about whatever Pettitte says will hafta be the truth and he won't cover up for Clemens because of, get this, Pettitte's religion. Dog is barking that as a born-again Christian, Pettitte will be forced to tell the truth. So now we're judging and holding people according to their religions, we're playing some sort of priest/psychologist now like we've started to do with our presidential candidates. Dog is gleefully jumping up and down that Pettitte's religion will force him to drop the hammer on Clemens. So Pettitte is gonna be a super-Christian on Wednesday, but it was okay for him to cheat and use HGH before? Dog's understanding of how a born-again Christian lives his life should override Pettitte's earlier actions? Pettitte was okay to cheat and go against the sancitity of the game as a Christian, and that doesn't give Dog pause re: how much stock we should be putting in his Christian-ness on Wednesday?

Of course, all this after proclaiming none it matters anyways, that NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAYS OR WHAT EVIDENCE COMES UP, Clemens is guilty in Dog's mind. For fuck's sake. Can't wait to see what he comes up with tomorrow.

3 comments:

ope said...

yikes. im with dawg. i wonder how many usc alums defended oj. yes. im comparing steroids to murder.

BayonneMike said...

What, the Dog isn't entitled to an opinion? Only Xmastime's opinion that McNamee is a "manipulative, conniving sleazebag" counts, right? Why don't you save your paroxysms until the thing plays out. Btw, I never said Clemens was guilty because he's famous. All I said is that sleazebag trainers who juice their famous sleazebag clients (and, apparently, their masculine wives) might have a reason for saving evidence. If McNamee doesn't turn up with DNA from your guy's ass cheeks, then we can call it a day: Clemens is as pure as the drivin snow. All right? "But what about his reputation?" Xmastime cries. Listen, years from now no one will remember this incident, but they will remember that Clemens was the scumbag who threw the broken bat at Piazza in the World Series.

Anonymous said...

"Why don't you save your paroxysms until the thing plays out."

I believe that's what I've been saying since the beginning. Piling on Clemens in a he said/he said affair was a joke to begin with; Congress getting autographs while people are bloviating is absurd. But from the beginning, my point has been you need more than "I hate Clemens!" to convince me. Evidence + sheer, cold logic are all I ask; and hell, logic is superfluous without evidence. And so far I have not seen a single shred of either that would move me.