Move Over Europeans, Here I Come

I'm seriously thinking about considering thinking about considering moving to Europe. Why the fuck not? What version of the American Dream am I clinging to here? How much longer do I have to be a cheerleader for a team I'm losing more and more faith in?

Fact is, here I'm just another dumb schlub. It's impossible to get more plain and normal than me; it's impossible to swing a dead rat around without hitting 10 dudes that are exactly like me, but better. Better looking, more successful, etc etc. So that buries me even deeper. Though if you're swinging around dead rats you're prolly in my apartment in the first place hiyoooooo!!!! But maybe in Europe I'd have something new to offer. I'd be a big ol country boy coming to town, to some people I'd be, dare I say, exotic, no? I'd be interesting, compelling to them. Hell, young people are flocking to Ireland. And apparently the women of Sweden got together to put a full-page ad in the newspaper asking where have all the real men gone. I am nothing if not a raw, blank canvas of real man, n'est pas?

I am a mere sperm in the money-shot of American failure; maybe a re-start somewhere else is what the doctor ordered. Maybe somewhere else I can be somebody. For remember: les nuits, tous les chats sont gris.