Heeeeeeeey, you know what I fucking loooooove? When a delivery guy comes to the door and rings the bell. And if I don't INSTANTLY spring the door open, if a nanosecond goes by, he really leans into it and rings the motherfucker again. And again. Thanks guy! Maybe I should hang in the doorway like a fucking bat in case you come by so you don't hafta wait 6 seconds for me to walk all the way across the room to get to the door? But I guess you do need those extra rings to make sure you wake up the baby and get the dog worked up into a nice, freakishly loud barking frenzy, right? Fuuuuuuuuck.
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