The Manny Tapes

A LIST OF THINGS WITHIN A THREE FOOT AREA THAT SHORT BUS TRIED TO GIVE ME WHILE I REPEATEDLY ASKED HIM TO HAND ME THE REMOTE, WHICH WAS ABOUT 4 INCHES FURTHER THAN I COULD REACH, SO I COULD TURN DOWN THE TV AS THE BABY HAD FINALLY FALLEN ASLEEP IN MY ARMS IN THE RECLINER:

bus
car
another car
snowmobile
Elmo
a monkey in pajamas
fire engine
truck
cement mixer
another monkey (no pajamas)
football
truck
bus (again)
snowmobile (again)
bus (again)
Elmo (again)
snowmobile (my head explodes)

ie every single thing in sight except, of course, the fucking remote. Christ.














"Hahahaaha!! You had another kid? Aren't you supposed to lose weight afterwards, you fat fuck?!!?!?!"