Sly and the Family Stone

Jesus Christ. Is "Sex Machine" off of Stand! the longest song I've ever sat all the way through? For fuck's sake Sly, wrap it up! Like my meat loaf sammy from the bodega to take home, wrap it up! Sly, seriously, like my working girls tell me before I take them to a place of ecstacy so high that THEY wanna give ME money, wrap it up!!!! beeeeep.

On a side note, as great as it is, is The Modern Lovers the whitest album in history? Seriously. I'm looking at the credits and half expecting to see the Hickory Huskers listed as players.

I'm doing a crossword puzzle with the 1991 Duke/UNLV game on in the background, and every time I look up UNLV has a breakaway dunk, followed by another steal/offensive putback. I keep thinking the game must be 184-6, but everytime they flash the score it's tied. Wtf. Was that a game for the ages, or what? Complete rosters back from the previous year's NCAA Final 30-point drubbing by UNLV. Just like trick-or-treating at the Neverland Ranch, you'll never ever see that again, for sure. Who woulda picked Duke to win this game? I remember thinking at the time there's no way in hell Duke wins, I thought that UNLV team was the best ever. Hell, even though I know who wins, I even know the score, right now as I'm watching I'm STILL shaking my head "oh man...no way Duke wins here."But you know Laettner prolly mentiond before the game that if they lost he was gonna personally chop their fucking heads off in front of their mothers, so there ya go.

Duke was also part of my other "there's no way this team will lose, they're the best I've ever seen!!" moment, when I decared their own 1999 team was unbeatable and would roll thru the tournament laughing. And of course then they choke against UConn. So twice, Duke made me look foolish. Makes me feel even better about balling up their letter of acceptance* and throwing it into the trash. Fuckers.

* was actually to Clown College**, not Duke.

** a lie. Didn't get in.***

***lying, never applied. Guidance counselor**** said "I've seen your act. Don't bother."

****was actually Toby*****, aka "The Boy in the Woods Who Would Do Anything, Yes Anything For a Dollar"

*****Xmastime