I'm already tres suspicious re: the Bear Sterns buyout; my never-erring senses tingling that there's an even-higher-than-to-be-expected level of bullshit going on. I am sure about this. Something's going on that could have HUGE fallout later on. Then this morning I'm walking through the hallway in my building and all of a sudden there's a stack of about 12 clear garbage bags stuffed with shredded paper. That's odd, I thought. That's a lot of shredded paper. Especially considering that in my 10 years living here, I have, until today, encountered exactly zero bags filled with shredded paper. As I was walking by I just happened to see one of the thicker strips of paper and it said...JPMorgan Chase. I stopped, peeped for a second...and almost every strip of paper where I could see words, I saw JPMorgan Chase. Alarm bells in my brain going off. All of a sudden bags and bags of shredded JPMorgan Chase documents are showing up, LITERALLY at my doorstep!!! I'm telling you, I'm sniffing this shit out. Something's going on.
I feel like I'm Costner in JFK; now I need my own Donald Sutherland to meet me on a park bench and walk me through this shit.
Don't worry, folks: Xmas is on it!! I got you!!!
5 comments:
now theres a font I can live with.
My father always said," if all your gonna amount to is a font in the box you may as well be legible".
Hey, that's Big Mac's old bank. 5th largest bank in the world. This could be BIG. These could be The Lost Files! Call the Bank. Or wait, it could be an inside job...better yet, call the FBI...Set up surveillance. Don't disturb the evidence. And Xmastime... Be Careful.
Suit up.
I dont know if I'd be able to resist the urge to piece together that puzzle! I hope those bags are safely inside your apartment by now...
Ciues:
if the paper was strip cut at your building or someone's home, the sheets would come out looking like spaghetti. If it was done by a professional truck, the pieces would be cross cut, and look like an accordian.
Some companies will opt to shred at home for a sense of
increased security, to save costs of professional shredding, to make money on the side, or to hide something...A bank would hire a company to do shredding and you would never see it in bags. Professionals don't use bags anymore but leave it in the truck and dump it at a recycling plant when it's full. Sounds like someones running a side business.
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