Getting the Shaft

A coupla weeks ago I was babysitting Lil Bear, and we were joined by his cousin Jack and Jack's father Watty. Full disclosure: nobody likes Watty.

Hiyoooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Anyways, the four of us were going up to Watty's appartment which, I believe, is in a brand new building. We get into the elevator and of course the first thing the boys wanna do is start hitting the buttons. We try to stop them, but with one final lunge Lil Bear hits the "PRESS FOR EMERGENCY" button. Oh, fuuuuuuuuuuck. In a split second I picture the lift (I love you Gordon!) coming to a screeching halt, alarm bells going off and some firemen crashing through he ceiling, screaming at us to calm down, we're gonna be alright. Later on Watty said he was thinking the exact same thing, but it turns out that's just what Watty thinks about most any time anyways. So.

Well, the elevator doesn't stop, and then I hear the sound of a dial tone. Oh, shit, I'm thinking, it calls somebody sitting at a desk, who is gonna quickly take us to task for unnecessarily pushing the button and wasting their time disrupting the emergency response team waiting for such calls. I gave Watty the "this is gonna suck" look, and he gave me the "did you even see Neil Diamond getting in the elevator? wtf?" look.

Watty and I are standing there waiting to get bitched out when the dial tone cuts off, we brace ourselves, and then...."boo-boo-BOO-BEEP!!...we're sorry, your call cannot be placed as dialed...please hang up, check the number and try again....boo-boo-BOO-BEEP!!...we're sorry, your call cannot be placed as dialed...please hang up, check the number and try again...."

"Press for emergency." Very comforting.