XMASTIME: (overcome with emotion, about to cry) Hey, our first names start with the same letter...super weird, riiiiight? Man! What are the odds of that??!!
GORDON: 1 in 26?
XMASTIME: (stunned) ahhhh...
GORDON: do you have anything for me to sign, or are you just gonna stand there about to bubble?
XMASTIME: you know, I make some pretty good fried chicken, maybe-
GORDON: I can see that, you fat fucking donkey. Did you even buy my book?
XMASTIME: Hey, you know I-
GORDON: can you even read, big boy?
XMASTIME: Heeeeeeeeeey, listen guy, I can read just fine!!!!
GORDON: alright, alright, li-
XMASTIME: (up in his grill now) I'm not a puff pastry chef or some French guy in your kitchen, dickwad, so watch your tone with me!
GORDON: hey, I was just-
XMASTIME: you were just what? just what? hey, tell everybody what you were just about to do, fuckhead!
GORDON: please...please, I just...
XMASTIME: bubbling up, loser?
GORDON: please...I was just-
XMASTIME: I believe you were just about to walk over to that shelf, buy me that Jamie Oliver book, sign it, and thank me, weren't you?
GORDON: yes! Yes, I was (walking over to book, shaken up)
XMASTIME: and try to make it all the way there and back without taking your shirt off for a camera, how 'bout it?
GORDON: yes
XMASTIME: thanks (putting book in bag)
GORDON: (hopeful) I love your Manny Tapes stuff!
XMASTIME: (walking away) kiss my ass, cake boy. (to rest of the crowd) Che forever!!!
END SCENE.
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