I'm fucking sick and feverish and 400 degrees and I've spent a week trying to eat well and here I am so fuck everybody I'm ordering a pizza. AAARGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!
But I love the process of ordering a pizza. I haven't ordered pizza in a while, but I do recall a scenario similar to the following happeneing every time:
I called Papa John's, and a young fellow cheerily answered. He seemed ready to help me; eager even. I told him I'd like to place an order for delvery and he immediately barked "please hold!", put me on hold and presumably put out a small fire that had exploded on his work hat. What the fuck? Why even answer? So I'm sitting on hold, and to rationalize it I tell myself well, maybe this is just some flunkie, he's going to get the big daddy of delivery orders to talk me through the thing. BAM I'm off hold, and it's...the same guy. Oh, NOW he's ready to take my order. Did I just catch him off guard earlier, was he surprised when he picked up the phone and there was somebody on the other end looking to order pizza? Thus sending him into a furious pacing throughout the store, head in his hands "you can DO this Max, you can fucking DO this!!!" before taking a deep breath and picking up again? Wtf? After giving my order I half expected him, now that the pressure was off and he had handled things, to say something like "you know what, when you first called I was hoping it was somebody with a question about state capitals. You really got me with the ordering thing. It'll be about 45 minutes, enjoy your pizza."
This happen to everybody else every time they order pizza? EVERY time. Cracks me up.
2 comments:
seemed like this was gunna be a good post, one I could really get a nice "man, I'm glad it ain't me" guffaw out of but: you lost me at pappa johns. seriously glad it ain't me & can't read any further. next!
my apologies for ranting BUT- did it occur to you that the sickness may be detox? an anti-pappa johns-consuming-semi healthy food detox?
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