Stop the Ride, I Wanna Get Off!!!!!!!!!

Okay. America. Please. LISTEN TO ME: if the prospect of never getting laid for the rest of our lives isn't enough to get us off our asses and not be 400lbs each, shouldn't THIS finally do the trick? I mean, for fuck's sake...boy boob jobs? This is what it's come to? How far are we from scenes of chicks fumbling around with our "bros" in the backseat until we roll our eyes "alright, stop, I'll do it..." Jesus christ. What must high school locker room talk be like these days? "Naw Reggie, those aren't too small...hey, remember, anything more'n a handful's a waste anyways." Gone jogging!!!!!