"Reality." Hmm.

So I caught about half of the first episode of that Denise Richards “reality show.” Ugh. Of course since she’s recently divorced we hafta witness Denise stick her toes back out into the dating pool. Cause I guess we’re supposed to be worried that Denise Richards can’t stick her elbow out a window without having guys stick themselves to it. Christ. So she’s set up with some dude through a friend of hers, and since it’s reality tv the law states that the date must go “AWFUL!!!!”, dude being of course a geek who does nothing but say and do inappropriate things while Denise “pretends not to be horrified.” Whatever. Reality Show 101.

But the part that drives me crazy is before the date she’s talking to her friend, and she is sternly proclaiming that “this guy BETTER be okay with me being a simple, small town girl from Illinois!!!”

Really? What the fuck, YOU’RE DENISE RICHARDS!!! You could announce to him you shit in your sleep, and he’ll show up with a mop bucket and some Spanish fly. Camon. Yeah, he’s gonna be PISSED that besides being ridiculously smoking hot, you wanna sit around the house and bake pie for him. Right.

“fuck her dude, I had to dump her – not ONCE did she wanna go out and hit some blow in club bathrooms while dancing all night with young actors…I’m like I’m outta here baby, it’s been for reals!!”

Fucking a.









"I'm SO sorry I stayed home writing your Christmas thank you notes; can I make it up to you with some anal?? Dammit I fucked up AGAIN!!!"