Thursday, June 19, 2008

Works for Me, Fuck It

I've noticed a bunch of articles lately claiming that a husband helping out with the housework leads to more sex. I dunno. Now, you can tell me that decreasing the wife's workload frees up her time and stress, thereby having more time and energy to actually have sex. But then I see an article like this one. Key quote:
"My wife has told me that she's never more turned on to me than when I'm doing housework," says Fields, a 39-year-old guidance counselor.

REALLY? Camon. Now, I can see rewarding the dude with sex for housework, but you actually believe your girl starts creaming when she sees you tapping the bookshelf with a feather duster? DOUBT IT. I'm thinking that woman are making this whole urban myth up to get men off their asses and help out. Kudos to women, this is the best idea they've come up with since...well, this may be their first one, but still. Well played.

MEN: if all it takes to get up in there is loading up the dishwasher, camon. Think of the shit you had to do when you were single to hit some skins. Load the fucker up and gets to fucking!!!

PS - for some reason my computer is jacked, can someone please post this on Craigslist for me? Thanks!

HOUSEWORK FOR SEX - Outrageously overweight bed-wetting alcoholic with no job and the back hair of your uncle's rec room carpet looking for a housework for sex trade. Every hour of housework = an hour of sex. As I'm unemployed I'm free all the time; in fact if I could crash at your place for a while that would be a w e s o m e. You: be smoking hot, creative in bed with a lot of Victoria's Secret stuff and not a lot of shame. Might wanna invest in a power flusher, I've been in a bit of a "cheese phase." xmastimer@gmail.com

2 comments:

Gina said...

don't tease women that way. NO man can keep the cleaning up...ya all go soft and then we're lucky if we can get a sweeping or dusting out of ya.
just a lick an a promise. sonsa.....!!!!!!

Gina said...

if you are serious about this endeavor, the ad would work better if you leave off the part about the 'cheesy phase'. Constipated people tend to be sluggards. Cheese eaters. You foul her bowl and she will never get the image out of her mind and thus will end your sickening affair. If you must indulge, try this: the night before cutting into your next wheel, take a tablespoon of raw psyllium husk in a full glass of water and follow with a full glass of water. Cheesy phase. Ew.