The reason I love Beverly Hills 90210 so much is that it's SOOOOOO like real life. Take the episode I'm watching right now - Brenda has decided that instead of cruising through BH in cool convertibles flirting with dudes and spending thousands of Daddy's dollars on handbags and shoes, she'd rather start working answering phones at the high school teen suicide line. Hmm. Okay. But first of all, she has to convince Andrea she's really ready to commit herself to the job - Andrea barks at her that she'll hafta give up her social life and take the suicide line uber-seriously etc etc. You'd think they'd let a loaf of bread pick up a phone if it was willing; apparently to be on Andrea's crew you hafta donate blood, get a letter of recommendation from God and run a 3-minute mile. Wtf. So Brenda FINALLY convinces her that she's will chop her body in half and sew the chair onto her torso in place of her legs so she never leaves her phone, and she walks into the hotline room and what do you know...there's over a dozen people in there answering phones that are ringing nonstop like London in 1940. Jesus christ. I'm waiting for Jerry Lewis to pop out in a tux with a money figure to announce. How many kids in Beverly Hills can fucking be considering suicide? (correct answer: not enough.)
Of course Brenda ends up saving the day, talking some girl down from the edge who goes on to cure cancer after giving birth to Jesus Christ and inventing the reach-around. Shocker.
Side note: I notice they make it clear that the suicide line shuts down at 10pm. Really? I guess nobody thinks about suicide after ten. Oh sure, during school and after-school activities and socializing and dates and dinner etc etc, every teen in BH is frantically dialing up the suicide line. But once it's late night and they're all alone in bed in total darkness with nothing but their own thoughts, oh, they're just fine then. Hmm.
10:01! Sorry, fuck yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!
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