Guest Post: THEODORE!

If elected president, Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) would provide $39 billion in federal help for oil and gas companies over the next five years, a new report from the Center for American Progress Action Fund finds.


Xmastime just read this and passed out on the floor; his beady little Send-a-Mouse-to-College!-while-saving-the-planet eyelids rolling up in his head like window blinds in a Tom & Jerry flick. For fuck’s sake; YEEEEESSSSSSS we all know that you can’t open a newspaper without the oil companies reporting record profits. But read closely, mes petite faggots – it’s $39B over FIVE YEARS!!! Not all at once, not tomorrow! That works out to just over $250 a second, which is less than Xmastime makes in a week for chrissake. So calm the fuck down and get back to painting watercolors of yourself playing badminton at the country club with Obama bin Laden, cake-boy.

Still Bringin 'em On!
THEODORE