Last Night by the Numbers

NUMBER OF WOMEN I MET WHOM I AM TRES SMITTEN OVER: 1
NUMBER OF PHONE NUMBERS I GOT: 1
DAYS I SHOULD WAIT TO CALL HER: 3
MINUTES AFTER SHE GAVE ME HER NUMBER I TEXTED HER: 8
NUMBER OF TIMES I USED THE WORD "CRAPPER" IN SAID TEXT: 1
NUMBER OF TIMES I WILL LIKELY SEE THIS PERSON EVER, EVER AGAIN: 0

Sigh.