Lemons into Lemonade (You're Welcome)

The GOP was already wary of wheeling out the most unpopular preznit ever for their convention, hoping to slide him in the 5am slot between Heidi from The Hills and the hopefully-distracting all-you-can-eat caribou pepperoni breakfast. Now they’re worried about having him speak at the exact moment Hurricane Gustav is slamming into the Gulf Coast. What’re they so worried about – don’t you know Xmastime is looking out for you, guys? I’ve figured it out, and know EXACTLY what Bush should be doing when the hurricane hits to make everybody forgive him for his dreadful Katrina performance. You want a brave, crowning moment for your legacy? Here it is!