The Recruiter

I watched some of the HBO series The Recruiter the other day. Hmm. It’s funny to note that while we put nothing ahead of our national defense, sending trillions and trillions of our dollars to the defense department and genuflecting over the “heroism” of the young men and women that are fighting, we’ve basically entrusted this very security to kids who aren’t smart enough to see through a recruiter’s bullshit (cue similar “not smart enuff to get off jury duty” here.) Have you seen these kids on the show? When I was in boot camp, out of fifty guys there was one guy I remember being even remotely as smart as myself; the rest were 18 year-old knuckleheads who pretty much had nothing else to do. And this was the Air Force, who prided themselves in only taking the smartest of military recruits, unlike the “bulletcatchers” the Marines and Army let in. For all the importance we place on our defense, we’ve basically left it up to kids whom we otherwise wouldn’t pay $8/hr to answer the phones at a Sir Speedy. Amazing to me. It reminds me of that quote someone once said about a high school football coach putting his livelihood and that of his family in the hands of a bunch of 16 year-old kids.

And the things promised to these kids ("see the world!"/money for school/next year's XBox) seems just as plausible to me as 72 virgins in the sky. What's the difference? Say, who was that handsome dude with perfect lips and a bulge bordering on the absurd who once wrote

1) When young Muslim dudes are told about the 72 virgins in paradise that are waiting for them after they’ve committed suicide, doesn't it occur to them to wonder why EVERY guy hasn't done it? I would think I'd immediately ask the guy that told me about the wondrous heaven that awaits me "Well, why don't you do it, then?" "Nah", he probably says "You go on, get to heaven where there's 72 virgins and no line at the Shoney's buffet waiting for you...I'm cool here in the scorching desert, drinking my own urine waiting for US soldiers to come torture me."

2) Where'd they get the number 72 from? Does anyone know this? And really, is there anything worse than 72 VIRGINS??!? Oh, goody. 72 chicks to not want you to see them naked, to not talk dirty, and will bleed all over your silk Star Wars bedsheets. Great.

3) After you've done each of them once, they're no longer virgins - then what happens? Is that all you get? Therein, when you're deciding whether or not to be a suicide bomber, wouldn't it be a game of calculating whether or not you'd have sex 72 times in your life or not? Or do they become 72 "girlfriends"? I'd break them into little teams, have them do events to entertain me. "Heather? Yeah, she's on the Bears...volleyball champs, and they give great head..."

Sigh. 2005...I used to be someone!!!!