Thursday, August 14, 2008

Roll Me Away

Flipping around this morning I came across that classic of classics, Mask. Sam Elliot perfecting his future over-grizzled Road House chops. Anyways, I noticed the description the Guide gives the movie:
“Teen has wild mother and misshapen face”

What? I love that…kid has a horribly disfigured face that makes him look like a gargoyle and pretty much means he will never have a life other than making peiople throw up in his presence, and the guide throws in that he has a wild mother. And lists her first!!! Wtf? I think if your head looks like a bowl of cat food, that’s pretty much the main concern in your life, no?
“Teen has wild mother and misshapen face; can’t find overdue books from school library.”

Who comes up with this shit?

SIDE NOTE: heart-warming how they make his girlfriend (Laura Dern) blind, ain’t it?

(production meeting)

“This will symbolize THE ultimate “love somebody cause of who they are on the inside and not the outside” lesson to be learnt in movies, fellas. Hey, he's a great kid with a heart of gold!"

"Better make the girl blind, Jerry."

"Good idea Ron....kid does scare away animals. Arby's?"

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