Jesus Saves

Earlier today I was standing on the corner waiting on what turned out to be the longest DON'T WALK sign in the history of time, and I noticed a few feet away some thousand year-old looking dude staring at me. I couldn't help but glance in his direction, and I noticed he had "JESUS SAVES" pamphlets. Oh, fuck I thought to myself. And of course I was the only other person there with him. Finally the inevitable happened and he says "Have you been saved?" To which I quickly said thank you, but I'm not interested. And waited for the WALK sign. And waited. Dude staring at me. Then he says "Would you like to know Jesus?"

Which quickly, for almost a split second made me think of when in movies someone says something like "get ready to see God!" before killing them. Ohoh.

But he just stood there, and I figured I would just ignore him til the light changed. Don't even look in his general direction, I was thinking, don't even give him a GLIMPSE of a window to open up some sort of chatting again. A wolverine could lunge at him, and I wouldn't speak up. Eyes forward. Steely.

Of course who then comes strolling by? Some fucking hipster...tall and skinny, with long, flowing stringy hair and a fucking beard. Looks exactly like you know who. I was chewing on my tongue, begging myself not to say anything, but I couldn't do it, it was too much to pass up. I turned to the old man, pointed to Hipster Jesus and sincerely as possible asked "Is that him?"

Floodgates, opened. Dude clutches Bible, raises it and starts blathering as fast as possible, Jesus this, God that etc etc. Full court press!! I couldn't help but laugh now, and gave him a wink as the light changed and I sprinted (cough) across the street. Awesome.