2nd Debate

I was going to live blog last night’s debate, but the fucking second it started my fucking internet went out. Obviously, the government has labeled me as “handsome and dangerous,” and is now employing such paranoid tactics to quiet me down. So I spent the whole time wrestling with that bullshit (with abject futility of course) and wasn’t able to do anything.

But I do remember a few moments. For one, in the very beginning, before I tried to turn into super internet freak-dork fix-it man, I heard McCain say that the next Secretary of the Treasury has to be, and I now quote, “somebody who inspires trust and confidence.”

Hmm. Really? What percent of Americans at any given moment know who the fuck the Treasury Secretary is? How about instead of “inspirational,” we have someone who is “competent” and “knowledgeable” and maybe “not corrupt”? We don’t need someone showing up on Letterman and knocking it outta the park, wowing us with his charisma/'my wife thinks I'm an idiot around the house" jokes. These people should be like umpires or referees – as long as they’re doing their jobs, I don’t give two shits what their names are, I don't care to know they're even there. Just do your fucking job. What an asinine, insulting, trite thing for McCain to say at such a time as this.

Also re: McCain – am I dreaming, or was dude outta breath half the time? I kept hearing huffing and puffing and I’d catch myself thinking “hey wait a minute, I’m not attempting to masturbate - what the fuck IS that?” Didn’t help his “I should be your president even though I shot Lincoln” case, does it?

Brokaw was terrible. Either control the debate without us realizing it, or shut the fuck up and let them speak. Sounded like a whiny, baby-dick “Can I take names while you’re out, teacher?” nerd. Ugh.

Interesting that McCain even let himself be on the stage with Obama after allowing his little pitbull with lipstick to spend the week basically calling Obama a terrorist. Shouldn’t McCain have grabbed him, thrown him down to the ground and made a citizen’s arrest? How can McCain claim to be able to find Osama if he can’t even find Obama when he’s three feet away from him? Interesting.

After the debate, Obama apparently spent a long time hanging around, meeting and talking to the people that were in the audience. But apparently McCain sprinted outta the building the second Brokaw said “this has been for reals.” At first this pissed me off, but then I remembered something: McCain already knew everybody in there! We know this, cause at least 693 times in the 90 minutes, he acknowledged everybody as “my friends.” So obviously, he already knew everybody and didn’t need to make nice-nice.

Is everybody else tired with the ol’ “okay, debate’s over, here comes the candidate’s family out to hug him.” They always act so thrilled/blown away etc. Wouldn’t it be better if we never had any idea who was going to come out at the end to greet the candidate? “Sen McCain is waving to the crowd and…hey, here they come to greet the Senator, the cast from Saved by the Bell: the College Years!! Wow, what a great group, right Chris?”