Corporate Email

For a while now I've been working a few days a week in a big corporate office setup. I just come in and do dum-dum work a monkey could do, and everybody else pretty much just acts like I don't exist. Which is perfectly fine with me.

But I am on the company-wide email distribution list, so a few times a day I'll get emails about, for instance, the new health insurance policy, or this week's magazine layout deadlines, or like this morning's "exciting announcement":

I am pleased to announce that Sue ***** has been promoted to Deputy Editor.

Sue has been an instrumental member of the ****** team, never hesitating to go beyond the call of duty (like being up till all hours of the night this Monday!)

Congrats!

Michelle

I mean, there's gotta be a coupla hundred people getting these emails. And other than the girl at the desk next to me and MAYBE two other people, nobody else even remotely knows I exist; certainly not my name. Wouldn't it be great then if I start replying-all to these emails? Even something benign like the above email, wouldn't it be great if I jump in? "WAY TO GO, Sue! You're the best there is and everybody knows it! You totally deserve it, congrats!" right? everyone scratching their heads, who the fuck IS this dude? Or start in with the health insurance email, reply with some 9000-word paranoid treatise that the company is trying to screw us, and "let's meet up and hash it out, guys." Or every Friday afternoon send out an email "if anybody else wants to hit Chuck E. Cheese for Happy hour, I'll be there at 7!"

Corporate America needs me!!