The Corporate Shitter

I love the anonymity of the corporate world, in particular the bathroom situation. I am usually a timid dumper if I think I’m within 50 yards of another human being that knows me. Hey, I know what I’m doing in there is not human. I think that if anybody hears me, I'll get sent to the zoo. But the beauty here is, not only does nobody in the office know me, but I can even GO TO ANOTHER BATHROOM ON ANOTHER FLOOR!!!!!!

So hell, it don’t MATTER what I do in the stall there, what horrific noise is going on...I can huff and puff and scream and bring two chickens together and smash them in to each other; the WORST case scenario is when I step out to wash my hands there’s some dude standing there I’ll never, ever see again. “Hey guy, how’s things?” Corporate America. Fucking awesome.

On a side note, I also love how everyting is automatic. Stick your hand out, soap automatically shoots out. Same with the water and paper towels. I like that, it’s like the powers that be are saying “you know, we trust you to put out this multi-million dollar magazine every week, but washing up after you shit yourself? Yeah, you better let us take care of that...”