I'm Wondering

RRTHUR (yes ladies, THAT RRTHUR!!!) and I were riding back from the airport last night; we grabbed a cab and the plan was to drop him off first and then myself. It was like 9pm, so we knew it should be a quick ride, and when we rolled up at his joint the meter was about $17. Which I didn't think was too bad, and I thought it would be about another $6 or so bucks across the neighborhood to my loft, which would be fine. We take off, and I notice we're hitting EVERY SINGLE FUCKING RED LIGHT. Every single one. Needless to say my blood is boiling as I watch the meter run up as we're sitting there. Then I notice something I've never seen before - I see that directly ahead of us is another taxi, and I see by his roof sign that his cab is vacant. And then I start to fucking notice that this cab, the empty one, seems to fucking be going super slow. Taxis are famous for dangerously speeding down the street; this dude seemed to be on a sightseeing tour. "Oooohh...the White Castle! oooohh, bodega!!!! ooooh, bodega!!"

And then the paranoia started in - I noticed that with dipshit slowing us down, we managed to again hit EVERY FUCKING RED LIGHT!!! I was doing fucking pushups in the backseat, I was so furious. And I allowed myself to fucking wonder: is this something the taxi driver fraternity does for one another? If your cab is empty and there's one behind you with a rider, is there some sort of code that tells the first one to go sloooooooow so that as many red lights are caught, therein driving up the price? Is this possible?

Probably not. But you couldn't have told me that last night. Unreal. Another $16 to go exactly one mile. Thanks to Team Shithead Taxi!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!