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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Today's BH 90210

Dylan is spiraling out of control after having lost all his money; apparently he's spent the last 2 months getting wasted everyday, and alienated everybody, including Brandon. Til Halloween night, when Val comes home:


Valerie Malone: But he is crying for help! Can't you see that? Dylan is so angry at himself, angry at the world for being lied to and betrayed by people he's come to like and trust that he doesn't know how. God, what kind of rock-bottom are you waiting for him to hit? The kind where he might end up dead? He's over there right now drugged out of his mind.
Brandon Walsh: He's taking drugs now?
Valerie Malone: Yeah, hard stuff. This is just like watching my father all over again in the weeks before he blew his own brains out. Feeling he's lost everything, nothing to live for, cleaning his gun, debating with himself whether or not to put it to his temple and...
Brandon Walsh: Wait a minute. What gun?

So...how clueless about his "best friend" could Brandon possibly be? Is he the bubble boy? Let's pick up...

Brandon Walsh: Wait a minute. What gun?
Valerie Malone: Dammit Brandon - the gun he got from his friend OJ!
Brandon Walsh: Wait a minute. OJ Simpson?
Valerie Malone: Yes! The guy from Naked Gun! He gave Dy-
Brandon Walsh: OJ started acting?
Valerie Malone: Yes!!!!!! Before he got busted for killing his ex-wife, OJ was acting!!! He wa-
Brandon Walsh: Hold up - OJ and Nicole broke up?
Valerie Malone: What? Brandon, I have no idea; but Dylan was drunk or high and waving his gun around at the non-fat yogurt place, it was-
Brandon Walsh: Wait a second...they took the fat out of yogurt?
Valerie Malone: Yes...
Brandon Walsh:...I'll be damned. Jesus.
Valerie Malone: He's gonna hurt somebody Brandon, I just know he is. With President Clinton passing the handgun laws, he is free to-
Brandon Walsh: Hold up...Clinton won?
Valerie Malone: ummm...2 years ago.
Brandon Walsh: I'll be damned....
Valerie Malone: Brandon, Dylan's gonna kill somebody!
Brandon Walsh: Wait a minute...Dylan's still on the show?


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND...scene.
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