You Gotta Be Shittin Me, Chapter 5433

Flipping around during a 90210 commercial just now, I landed on the the very end of VH1 Classics Top 10 Rock Bands of All Time, and I saw that the Stones were at #1. Grrrrr I thought, silently bitching at them finishing ahead of the Beatles. But if anyone is to finish ahead of The Beatles, I can at least live with it being the Stones. So out of curiosity I went to the VH1 Classic website to see who else was on this list. They not only had the Top 10 that was on the show, but on the site they list the Top 20 Rock bands of all time.

Turns out, The Beatles WEREN'T #2. Or #3. Or #14. Hmm. Either I have instantly forgotten how to read the English language, or a squirrel has gotten into my computer and somehow scrambled words around on my screen, or VH1 has decided that, among others, Aerosmith, Def Leppard, The Doors, Heart and MOTLEY FUCKING CREW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! are better bands than the fucking Beatles. Are you shitting me? This is like putting Hillary Swank, The Grinch, and my nuts on a list of Top 10 Titties ahead of Dolly Parton. Wtf? Are you shitting me?

And yes, I already know what you people are going to say - "Oh, the Beatles are a pop band, not rock." As in I guess "rock" = "loud" only. #1, I haven't even mentioned that The Ramones are also inexplicably not on this list. #2, most of the bands on this stupid list don't "rock" any harder or louder than The Beatles (including for the most part The Stones.) So shut up with that shit.

Not even in the Top 20. Behind Motley Crue. Yes, I know, I shouldn't get worked up at some stupid list by Vh1 like a little schoolgirl, but camon. Leaving off The Beatles seems so purposely egregious I can't get over it. Fucking idiots.

XMASTIME'S TOP 10 BANDS
(note: these are the bands I love personally, not some definitive list by those who claim to be an authority, or in the music business, such as VH1. Also, this is bands only, not solo dudes like Dylan or scenes/labels a la Motown/Stax etc)

The Ramones
The Beatles
The Replacements
Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band
The Clash
The Equals
REM
Soul Asylum
Husker Du
Marah