Good Fucking Grief

LEO: The target's in the air. They're going to launch the intercept any moment.
BARTLET: And I'm sure someone will come along soon thereafter and tell it didn't work.
LEO: Why do you gotta take that attitude?
BARTLET: Cause it's not going to work.
LEO: What do I get if it works?
BARTLET: What do you get?
LEO: Yes.
BARTLET: Well, I can't make you Thailand's ambassador to the United States because I just signed that guy's letter. [points to Oval Office]
LEO: Come with me to the situation room.
Leo turns to leave. Bartlet looks skeptically at Mrs. Landingham, then follows Leo downstairs.
BARTLET: You know what you are? You are the Charlie Brown of missile defense. The Pentagon is Lucy.
LEO: I'm not familiar with the reference.
BARTLET: Peanuts. Charlie Brown.
LEO: I've heard of them. I'm just not conversant in them.
BARTLET: Why?
LEO: I've never read the comics.
BARTLET: Leo, were you born at age 55?
LEO: I know there's a dog.
BARTLET: Charlie Brown wanted to kick a football and Lucy would hold it, except she'd pull it away at the last minute and Charlie Brown would fall on his butt.
LEO: That's funny?
BARTLET: No, but each time Lucy would find a way to convince Charlie Brown that this time she wouldn't pull the ball away. But she would and, once again, Charlie Brown would fall on his butt.
LEO: And that's funny?
BARTLET: Its' satirical.
LEO: What's it satirizing?
BARTLET: The DOD bringing you to the Situation Room every time they run a new missile test so that you come to me and tell me how great it works so I'll put money in the NMD system.
LEO: You should put money in the NMD system.
BARTLET: It doesn't work.

I mean for fuck's sake - just this morning, I saw this very episode of The West Wing, now I come home and see this article. Wtf - did the Pentagon see the episode too, and 1) were chagrined at President Bartlet's doubting them, and are now determined to show him they can do it, or 2) in seeing the episode had their memories jogged "oh yeah, now THAT'S another way to throw billions of dollars away right now! Great!" Which is funny, cause I'm willing to bet we're already paying these countries kabillions of dollars not to fire missiles at us in the first place. This way we get to double-dip in our own pockets. Swweeeeeeeeeeeet!!!

How's this latest test gonna come out? Hmm. Lemme guess.

MAN 1 : [on radio] Negative intercept. KM warhead has overshot it's target.
BARTLET: It was just enthusiastic.
LEO: By how much?
GENERAL: Uh, Leo...
LEO: [sternly] By how much did it miss the target?
GENERAL: Colonel?
COLONEL: 137.
LEO: We missed the target by 137 feet?
COLONEL: Miles.
LEO:[looks at him, incredulous] We missed it by 137 miles?!
BARTLET When you consider the size of outer space, Leo, that's not so bad...by the way, the words you're looking for are "Oh good grief." [walks out]