Charlie Daniels is a Fucking Idiot

I realize that picking on my BFF Charlie Daniels is like picking on a retard (sorry, retards!), but in his latest soapbox screed re: how much he can't believe we let Bush have only 2 terms since he's the greatest American ever, he even somehow crosses his own line for "ass dumb":

Obama will have a luxury that George Bush never did. From the first day of Bush's administration until the last the mainstream media have done everything in their power to diminish him.

These two lines has so many things wrong in their few words I just had to step back from my computer, shake my head "wow," scratch my balls, walked to the counter, popped a diet Coke, realized I was still scratching my balls, squinted at the screen again, flipped through the newest Oprah magazine, spun in a circle a little bit, thought about the time I puked on my first day of 5th grade, thought about the fact that if I had no idea that one of the girls on The Real World had a penis 6 weeks ago she'd prolly be my favorite from the cast, looked out the window, shook my head "wow" again, knocked out as many pushups as I could in only 45 minutes (3), saw a commercial for what looks to be the worst movie ever I Love You Man, did the "Cosby Dance," knocked out a letter to my pen pal (hi Paxton!), spun around in circles until my hand finally came off my balls, and then sat back down to think about what Charlie had said.

I'm sure Obama (2 wars, world-wide economic crisis reaching panic status, the world hates us) wouldn't mind trading first-day problems with his predecessor ("man, how am I gonna spend all this money Clinton left us? dang!")

Does anybody remember this "media witchhunt" Charlie's talking about? Really? Hmm. Now, while it's true that at the time I was inventing the Running Man dance so I was admittedly a tad distracted, I think I speak for most everybody when I say that between the day he took office and 9-11, we pretty much heard zip about Bush. Nobody cared. Remember, we were on such cruise controlled good times that we had a race between someone generally acknowledged as a bit of an idiot and someone who was probably the most qualified candidate in history and we said "fuck it, put the idiot in" cause nobody thought it really mattered. So to speak as if everyone was foaming at the mouth to attack Bush is absurd. Everyone was rolling in the dough on pretend internet stocks and TCBY chains; we thought so little of who the president may be that we voted against one of the guys who had been responsible for our success cause he was "boring." So then 9-11 happens, REALLY the first time we bothered hearing from Bush, and what happened? Explosive popularity in the polls, and historic coddling support from the media, Congress, the people etc etc. Which of course he pissed away, but that was HIS fault. He took all the good feelings and good press and flushed it all down the toilet,

So during the "honeymoon" (Charlie's word) I remember Bush being vaguely ignored, on vacation a lot, and then held up with more popularity than anyone in history. Hmm. Yeah, poor bastard.

Charlie, go eat a bag of fucking dicks.