Hot for Doctor.

So after my first doctor's visit last month, I had my follow-up yesterday. Which I thought was gonna be the official "okay, it's gout, here's some pills, go have fun!" But it was THE EXACT SAME VISIT AS LAST TIME!!!!! Fucking interviewed for 30 minutes, then poked a bit. Then they said they wanted more blood. For, get this, uric acid.

"But all the blood you took last month...you didn't test the uric acid?"
"No, that was for lipids."
"But my complaint was gout, which is caused by a buildup of uric acid..."
blank stares.

So more blood. And another month of waiting. Grrr.

They were VERY concerned about said lipids, however. It's not a good sign when the doctor is so horrified by your cholesterol level she doesn't even wanna give you the actual number.

"So your cholesterol is in fact elevated."
"Yeah? What is it?"
"Well, it's very elevated..."
"Well, sure. What is it?"
"Sooo...killer bees, huh? I mean, are they really coming, or what?"

Ohoh.

BUT...I did lose 8 pounds! "Over the holidays too, ladies!" I made sure to point out. Of course, 8 pounds for me is not like a deck chair falling off the Titanic; it's like a piece of popcorn falling off a deckchair on the Titanic, but still...can I take SOMEthing positive here, people???!

Anyways...I guess I got one more appointment after all. Least I ain't gotta meet with the damn social worker again.

Side note: I don't know where these people are coming from, or if they're even doctors; but my doc was hot as fucking balls. And then she called in another doctor for a look, and THIS one looked like a combination of the last girl I was in love with plus my college girlfriend plus Jessica Alba. Wtf? Might be the only time I've ever thought "dammit!!!...I wish I had a polyp on one of my balls..." Ah well.