Player.

I think I just agreed to read for a part in a play. Which is funny, since I've devoted most of my adult life to deriding such things as theatre (fags! posers! hipster freaks!) etc. But what the hell, the dude that asked me is a really nice guy, so if he thinks enough of me to ask I come out for it, the least I can do is show up, read some lines and have a laugh. I fully expect to not be given the part and to be incredibly awful at "acting", but what the hell. What else do I have to do on a Tuesday night?

And what the hell - maybe it turns out that acting in plays....is what I do better than anybody else in the world!!!!!!????? How else would I find out?

Of course it won't be. But I'm at the point of my life where I'm open to new things just for the fuck of it. I've never really been good at anything my whole life, so why not at least look for something I'm good at that I've never tried before? At least right now, the odds are the same that I'm great at it as awful at it. So who knows.

Of course by "great at it" I mean "being showered with praise and hot pussy." Sometimes it makes me sad to think of the disparate returns of what one is really great at can bring - for instance, it just so happens that the thing Tiger Woods is best at is celebrated throughout the world and brings him millions of dollars. Meanwhile, there's someone out there who is as good at, say mumblety-peg, as Tiger is at golf, but nobody will ever really care. Or stapling paper, or making paper footballs. Ah well. Somewhere, somebody is the best at anything there is.

Anyway. I guess what I'm saying is I'm about to become really rich and famous, and prolly won't have time for you common folk any more. So long, suckahs!!!!!!!

And yes, if you're wondering, I've already chosen a scene should I be asked to perform a monologue. Hello, waterworks!!!!!