Monday, March 16, 2009

Marriage - Can't Wait!

After dedicating the weekend to studying the blog True Wife Confessions, I have come up with what I believe to be a compendium of what pretty much every married woman wants to say to her husband. This will be very useful should I ever actually meet a real woman.

Sometime when I look at you I just want to slap you so hard in your face.
I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER!!!!
The yard looks like shit and the house is about to fall in.
Once we got cable, our sex life went to shit
Sometimes I think the only way we'd have sex would be if I cut your hands off.
Yes, I experimented many, many years ago.
Most people question if you are gay.
Just an FYI: don't be alarmed if you come home to an empty house or your shit out in the yard.
Get a job, seriously.
I want a divorce for Christmas.
I said I would remain faithful but I’m slowly changing my mind.
I absolutely hate you.

1 comment:

Kiko Jones said...

The antidote for you, perhaps: http://truelovehates.blogspot.com/