Thank You, CNN

I wish I was a genius. But I’m not. Therefore, it would never have occurred to me that a man who had a swastika carved into his head, was responsible for multiple murders and has been in prison for 40 years wasn’t constantly surrounded by close friends, including groups of children begging him to play Cat O' Nine Tails with them while little cartoon birds circled above whistling merrily. Luckily for us CNN is stacked with geniuses who figured this out for the rest of us idiots.