Homeless Books

I don't like to talk shit about other people; that's just not my style. For instance, not a lot of people know that MAMALIZZA spent 11 months homeless, and I'm sorry but those people aren't gonna find it out from me. Call me too much of a gentleman, consider me a gallant protector of the fairer sex if you must, whatevs, I just don't give out people's personal business. Sorry. Not gonna happen. If that's a fault of mine, so be it. And if you DID hear about those 11 months from somebody else, you should know it's not as if she spent those 11 months out on the streets; she never went without a roof on her head. It wasn't a LOT of time sleeping under a roof of course, more like "last call!" until I guess whenever the occupant of whichever apartment got up to take a shower, maybe 3 hours?, but the point is it wasn't out on the streets. And even if it was you wouldn't hear about it from me, as that's just not my style. Don't like it, sue me.

So when Mamalizza mentions how I've lost my homeless demographic, I would have no choice but to believe her, thanks to her experience "in the field." But speaking of libraries, when the fuck is "Annesty Day" coming? When I first moved to NYC over 11 years ago I remember the Daily News making a big to-do about the NYPL having a day wherein no matter how overdue your books were, if you brought them in on that day all fines would be forgiven. I remember thinking, in a rare moment of personal prescience, "this might come in handy later on."

So in 2002 I checked out a Ben Franklin book, and of course haven't returned it...7 years later, still waiting on fucking Amnesty Day!! Wtf...are they waiting me out? Am I the New York Public Library's big white whale; their Moby More Than Enough Dick?

I wouldn't push me, NYPL...I'd hate to take that very book into my "office" to read. Cough.