Dude, Where's My Fucking Brains?

A la Andrew Sullivan:

"Years from now, when historians reflect on the time we are currently living in, the names Biz Stone and Evan Williams will be referenced side by side with the likes of Samuel Morse, Alexander Graham Bell, Guglielmo Marconi, Philo Farnsworth, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs — because the creation of Twitter by Stone, 35, Williams, 37, and Jack Dorsey, 32, is as significant and paradigm-shifting as the invention of Morse code, the telephone, radio, television or the personal computer," - Ashton Kutcher, Time.

To point out something Ashton Kutcher has actually written is to stand up and applaud that he has come up with something so ass-blowingly stupid that it has stunned the reader into locking his eyes on the screen, numb with disbelief. Is "tractor-beamed" a word? It is the written version of Buuuuuf's shot in that is is so bad it FORCES you to actually read it.

It's hard to wrap my head around how stupid this quote is; but I might start by pointing out how stupid it is to claim Twitter to be as "paradigm-shifting" as the very technology that created it. I understand he's some sort of Twitter cheerleader, and I know people like it, but it's about the 15th generation of interactive social platforms by way of the internet, the personal computer, gamma rays, x-rays and two dixie cups with a string.

Just because you liked Rocky V doesn't mean you're not a complete fucking idiot to claim it was as "paradigm shifting" as Rocky I like Jewish Rye bread. But I can't say it's as "paradigm shifting" as wheat, grain, oats, flour, Wonder Bread, wheat bread and the croissant. You know, cause I'm not a fucking idiot.