Car Service

- If your driver jumps out of the car to get into a fight with some other guy, are you obligated to get out and fight with him? There some sort of allegiance going on there you hafta adhere to? Or can you just sit in the car and be entertained by the whole thing?

- A coupla weeks ago I had gone shopping so I called a car service, standing on the corner up in Greenpoint. After a few minutes, across the street a car honked - directly diagonal from where I was standing. I would hafta cross over with the light, then cross the street again. I took about one step, when all of a sudden another car pulled up alongside me and honked. Oh cool, I thought, I'll take this one. I opened the door to start to get in, and the driver said "the other car is for you" and pointed across the street to the car that was waiting for me. Watching me try to blow him off. The driver of the car I was trying to get into is looking at me and pointing; I felt like Lorraine Bracco, when DeNiro's pointing her down the sidewalk to a rack of dresses, and she gets spooked thinking she's gonna get hit. That's how I felt as I went walking across to the other car. Then I expected to get into the car and have the driver say "WELL well well...look who's too good to use my car! MR. Asshole!" and then take me on some sort of hellride after which I get kicked out of his car somewhere in East New York. Of course all that was happened was I got in, sat down, and he drove me exactly where I asked him to in a calm, friendly manner. So.

- The thing that drives me crazy about these things is at the end of the ride - you'd think after they stopped they'd turn around and say "okay, that'll be $7." But they don't. They stop the car, and then stare straight ahead. Wtf? Then we hafta play this game where I reach up to his shoulder and say "here ya go," and he has to pretend that there was gonna be money exchanged for this service. "Oh, thank you!" he'll say, looking surprised. Drives me crazy; one day I'm just gonna sit back there mute, playing a game of wills to see how long it'll take him to finally turn around and ask for money.