Say, Doesn't That Mic Look Like a Dick?

So I guess Chris Brown is doing community service in Virginia. And since he and I are from the same hometown, I'm thinking maybe that community service will be done in Tappahannock. I would not consider it a waste of time if Mr. Brown would use a few of those hours to find my fucking letter jacket. I mean, for fuck's sake. How many more years can this thing be passed around for high school chicks to sleep with, dreaming they're with me? I want it back!!!