To The Person Standing Behind Me On the Train This Morning, Impatiently Shoving Me in the Back as I Stood in Front of the Door Waiting for It to Open:

I’m very sorry - USUALLY I can control the subway doors by slipping between dimensions and creating a life-force wherein I can glide myself and fellow passengers directly through the steel doors, therein ignoring the laws of physics. Today I chose to be a completely obstinate fucking asshole douchebag by standing there and making everybody wait for the doors to actually open, and I feel bad about that. again: my apologies.