XMASTIME: UP

/* MOBILE FIX: stop forcing desktop min-width */ @media screen and (max-width: 800px) { body { min-width: 0 !important; } .content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner { min-width: 0 !important; max-width: 100% !important; width: auto !important; } .main-inner .columns { padding-left: 0 !important; padding-right: 0 !important; } } .date-header { background: #000 !important; display: block !important; width: 100% !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } .date-header span { background: transparent !important; } .post-header-line-1 { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } .post-header-line-1 * { background: transparent !important; } /* --- XMastime fixes: titles + date bars + mobile --- */ /* Post titles: stop random centering */ h3.post-title, h2.post-title, .post-title { text-align: left !important; } /* Date header: make the black bar extend full width */ .post-header-line-1 { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } .post-header-line-1 * { background: transparent !important; text-align: left !important; } /* Mobile: stop forcing huge desktop width */ @media screen and (max-width: 800px) { body { min-width: 0 !important; } .content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner { min-width: 0 !important; max-width: 100% !important; width: auto !important; } .main-inner .columns { padding-left: 0 !important; padding-right: 0 !important; } } /* FORCE post titles consistent */ .post-title, .post-title a, h2.post-title, h3.post-title { text-align: left !important; } /* FORCE full-width date bar across common Blogger structures */ .date-header, .date-header span, .post-header, .post-header-line-1, .post-header-line-1 span, .post-outer .post-header-line-1, .post-outer .post-header, .blog-posts .post-header-line-1 { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; margin: 0 !important; } /* prevent inner bits from “breaking” the bar */ .date-header *, .post-header *, .post-header-line-1 * { background: transparent !important; text-align: left !important; } /* MOBILE: stop the fixed 1218px width behavior */ @media screen and (max-width: 800px) { body, .content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner { min-width: 0 !important; max-width: 100% !important; width: auto !important; } .main-inner .columns { padding-left: 0 !important; padding-right: 0 !important; } } /* DATE HEADER: make the black bar go full width */ .date-outer, /* FORCE FULL WIDTH DATE BAR NO MATTER WHAT */ .date-outer, .date-posts, .date-posts h2, .date-posts h3, .date-header, h2.date-header, h3.date-header { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; padding: 10px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; margin: 0 0 18px 0 !important; } /* force the TEXT itself orange and remove any weird inner box */ .date-posts span, .date-header span, .date-posts h2 span, .date-posts h3 span { background: transparent !important; color: #ff6600 !important; display: block !important; width: 100% !important; } -->

Thursday, June 11, 2009

UP

Why the FUCK don't movies have separate fucking lines for people who ONLY want popcorn/sodas?!???!!?!?! I'm in line this morning, and after about 10 hellacious minutes I'm like why am I still in a line that hasn't fucking moved? And then I see - people are buying nachos. And fucking hotdogs. And fucking ice cream. And goddam candy. Candy???!! You're at the movies - GET THE POPCORN AND GO SIT THE FUCK DOWN!!!!! And a woman in front of me has them show her kid EVERY POSSIBLE FUCKING PIECE OF CANDY THEY HAD TO OFFER for him to decide what the fuck he wants. WTF???!! My dad woulda been like "hold on...I'm taking you to the movies, AND you want a snack?!?!? Get back in the goodam car, we're going home!!!" Or my mother would try to sneak in a casserole dish, like HERE.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile, of course here's the concession stand upstairs. Just like every fucking ~~condom I've bought since 1997~~ theater I've ever been to: un-fucking-used. Genius.

2 comments:

Kleingärtner said...: You're a 40 year old man going to the movies on a Thursday morning. And the popcorn/soda line issue is your most pressing issue?!?!!?! Dude, you've arrived! You made it! Every other sucker is living the life of "quiet desperation" in some souless cubicle! Your desperation is loud and clear and it's not even so goddamn bad! Enjoy it and write about your horsey-headed girl fantasies.; 5:04 PM
Xmastime said...: curtsy; 9:14 PM