Finally. Mrs. Xmastime

I awoke with a start this morning, jolted with the thought of who the ABSOLUTE PERFECT MRS. XMASTIME actually is, staring me in the face this whole time without me even realizing it:

Victoria Williams.

Fucking christ - look at those teeth!! How'd I miss it all these years? AND she has multiple sclerosis - she'll be thrilled with the attention I'll be giving her. I mean, it's not like she's got one leg shorter than the other to have kept the fellas away all these years, but I don't wanna be greedy here. AND she's buddies with Dave Pirner, so we could hang out, and I could ask things like "So, what's Winona look like naked? She steal shit from you?"

Sigh. Mrs. Xmastime. In love