I've Solved the Crime Prolem, You're Welcome

I think we could knock out crime in this country by making criminals watch old people eat eggs.

"Take a good look, buddy...LOOK AT HER!!! Gonna do that shit again? "
"Oh god, no! I'm sorry! OH god!!!"
"Good. Now get the fuck outta my office."

We could turn prisons into bathhouses, or huge trampolines.