What Every Little Boy Wants to be When He Grows Up

My dad was the king of sitting in his chair reading, nodding and saying “uh huh” while my mother prattled on and on for hours about whatever the fuck it was she was talking about. He wasn't much of a talker at all, never using 2 words when none would do. Which, I grew up thinking, seemed like the manly thing to do.

But it turns out that in this scenario, I would be my mother. I’m a talker. I talk. If given the chance, I will not shut up. So I would need a wife who’s fine nodding her head/pretending to listen while I yammer on and on about whatever. Probably all the classy trim I got back in my single days, or Indiana high school basketball. How depressing. I am a Boston accent and pack of Winston 100s away from turning into my mother. Great.