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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

DRUNK MOTHAFUCKAHS

Ballbuster has been blowing up that A&E show Intervention for years now, and last night I actually watched some of it, and I gotta say: like anybody, I sometimes think I over-do it. Way too many beers after softball, maybe try to be Mr. Sophisticated and have some skinny bitches while watching a documentary on jewelry-making in Chile turns into a night of drunk-texting that is harmless though wildly embarrassing, comforted only in knowing that the recipient knows that I'm an idiot, and if they're getting a text from me at say 2am I'm probably wasted so it's ignored.

But if I find myself tearing apart everything in my room and then standing in my front yard completely naked trying to pick a fight with a sibling who has brought over food to me because they know that it's 2 in the afternoon and I'm probably in the bag and haven't eaten all day, and this doesn't even seem strange to them at this point, I think I might think "you know, MAYBE I have a problem." I mean, good lord. These people are beyond sad.

Like Tony, whom I wrote about last year: (AND INCLUDES THE GREATEST INTERVENTION SCENE OF ALL TIME!!)
7:00am - Tony gets into the shower with a 12-pack, starts guzzling.
7:20am - here's Tony making his coffee "Irish" at the breakfast table.
7:21am - Tony decides to make his sausage links, eggs and waffles "Irish" too
7:45am - here's Tony in the shower again; he's forgotten he's already taken one.
8:30am - here's Tony goofing around on the riding mower, chasing the kids around the lawn while they wait for their school bus. How charming - Tony has made quality time with his kids "Irish" too.
10:30am - here's Tony at the office (HOW DO THESE PEOPLE HAVE JOBS?!?!?!!) with a huge cup of vodka. But its in a Solo red party cup, so no one will ever figure it out. READ MORE...
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