illWill looks baffled while Brothattime!! (r.) thinks "man, this is how the settler's musta done it - grilling a pig for two days and then shredding it to feed dozens of people, with a Dell Inspiron 1525 close by." Meanwhile, since obviously if you have two dudes alone in a room with knit polo shirts you legally need a chaperone, Xmastime buddy Jeff (m.) steps in with a snappy powder blue number to make sure everything's "above board."
"Hi! I'm Paddy Mac...and I'm a porkaholic."
Duties breakdown:
Brothatime!! - supplies the venue, pays for all the food and booze, entertains dozens of people and spends 36 hours without sleep babysitting the 50lbs of meat on the grill
illWill - grins like a fucking jackass at the camera, is probably gay
Paddy Mac and his cousin (born on the same day!) pose for a Hallmark Card while that creepy-ass kid from behind the curtain in Three Men and a Baby is looking for some free pork. Yeesh.
Brothatime!!'s acre of hops he grew this summer and in the...hold on...what the...is that a family of Christmas tress walking across the driveway in front of the camera??!?!!!? How cute IS this fucking place? Oh look, a rat just put out his cigarette on my signed Leave Home album. FFFUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKK, I HATE Brothatime!!!!
At this moment, Paddy Mac officially passed his dad in the "minutes spent speaking to a person of the opposite sex in a lifetime thus far" category. In Brothatime!!'s defense, the 70's were a fucked up time, man. I mean fuck, we were fighting an insurgent war in another country, the economy was in the crapper, and Bruce Springsteen was putting out records - different times, bro.
Ohoh. Someone has started to cut into the pork while it's resting. "You stay here, little fella."
So You Think You Can Dance! (better than Xmastime, which you can't, and never will, no matter how much you practice, you little shits)
Okay, now even I officially wanna punch these two in the face.
Hey, get used to it, pal.
Hey, I remember my first drunk-dial too, tuff guy.
Another small-town wine maker is about to have his heart broken. "I hope you don't call that a 'strong tannin', sir."
Ohoh. SOMEone just found out that agriculture futures are trading lower on the CBOT
17 minutes later.
The next morning.
Death, Famine, Pestilence, Destruction...Famine with vinegar...and Pestilence, tomato-based
Can't wait for next year...WHEN I'LL ACTUALLY BE THERE AGAIN! :)
1 comment:
Seriously? Stealing my pictures. Should of been there.
Sista-time.
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