White Wedding

I guess I was the only person in the world who didn't realize the wedding entrance during The Office was a takeoff on an actual wedding video that became a viral sensation on YouTube. Watching it, I'm fascinated that this was even considered; I don't know if it's a Southern thing, but it seems in looking back on things that about 95% of the weddings I've ever been to have been ruled by the parents of the bride and groom. Nobody in any wedding I've ever been in would even remotely consider doing such a thing, since their parents would be horrified. Cause everybody's gotta have the exact same goddam wedding as everybody else on their "memorable" day, I guess, and god forbid old people see something different before they get shipped off to the old folk's home for the rest of their lives.

Fuck that. I've always had one rule about my own wedding: I'm in charge of the music, I don't give a fuck about anything else. New rule: nobody fucking 10 years older or more than myself can attend. Fuck 'em.

Of course, by the time my own wedding actually happens, it might BE in the old folk's home. But still.

Also, I spent the whole time wondering why, at the beginning of the video, some message pops up about making a donation for some domestic violence joint. "These people have some low expectations for themselves," I thought.Turns out the song they all dance to is sung by, ta-da...Chris Brown. As in "from the same hometown as Xmastime" Chris Brown? As in "attended the same high school as Xmastime, albeit many, MANY years afterwards" Chris Brown? As in "MIGHT have broken Xmastime's Tappahannock record for hittin' trim" Chris Brown? (we'll see, all my September numbers aren't in yet) Really? Wtf? They can't find ONE LOUSY SONG that's NOT sung by a dude who beat the shit out of his girlfriend? Really? Is this a national signal to us that it's okay to start being nice to Chris Brown again? And where the fuck did the bride and groom find 20 white people that were willing and able to dance? WTF?