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Like I said I'm grouchy today. But in searching for my Bojangles thing earlier I came across (heh heh heh) this post, which I thought I'd put up again to remind you sonsabitches that I'm the funniest guy in the country with a clown shoe-sized dick right now.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Biscuits

Lotta talk about biscuits over here. I would make out with Sherri Shepherd if it meant a box of fucking biscuits from Bojangles would appear in my lap. Of course, ironically, I would hafta eat the biscuits to have the strength to wrestle them away from her fat jaws of death. Sigh. Ironic cycle of futility, I guess ("I can't get the job without the training, and I can't get the training without the job!")

I feel this is an opportune time to debut my new "talk to the hand" dismissal phrase: "Aw, go stick your dick in a biscuit." To be said like awwwwwgostigyadiginnabiscuit. You're welcome, America.

Speaking of Fatty from The View, she just said something odd: "I'm having a hard time finding a bathing suit that is slimming." Which is weird, cause I'd almost swear I just saw a headline that read "New line of women's bathing suits made out of magic!" Poor thing :(

Oh yeah, she also said that she's having a hard time "fighting celibacy." I can see her problem, as her only weapons are 200 extra pounds of flab and believing that the Earth is flat. Hang in there, Sherri! Stay strong!

Posted by Xmastime at 11:46 AM