Wednesday, November 11, 2009

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Like I said I'm grouchy today. But in searching for my Bojangles thing earlier I came across (heh heh heh) this post, which I thought I'd put up again to remind you sonsabitches that I'm the funniest guy in the country with a clown shoe-sized dick right now.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Biscuits

Lotta talk about biscuits over here. I would make out with Sherri Shepherd if it meant a box of fucking biscuits from Bojangles would appear in my lap. Of course, ironically, I would hafta eat the biscuits to have the strength to wrestle them away from her fat jaws of death. Sigh. Ironic cycle of futility, I guess ("I can't get the job without the training, and I can't get the training without the job!")

I feel this is an opportune time to debut my new "talk to the hand" dismissal phrase: "Aw, go stick your dick in a biscuit." To be said like awwwwwgostigyadiginnabiscuit. You're welcome, America.

Speaking of Fatty from The View, she just said something odd: "I'm having a hard time finding a bathing suit that is slimming." Which is weird, cause I'd almost swear I just saw a headline that read "New line of women's bathing suits made out of magic!" Poor thing :(

Oh yeah, she also said that she's having a hard time "fighting celibacy." I can see her problem, as her only weapons are 200 extra pounds of flab and believing that the Earth is flat. Hang in there, Sherri! Stay strong!

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