Becuause I'm not satisfied with the amount of unbelievably awful tv I'm watching, I let myself get hooked a little bit on the Dr. Drew Sex Addict show I mentioned below, mostly because one of the chicks is banging hot. Also because I think it's funny that the first thing they do with a sex addict is to put him in a room 24/7 with several porn stars. Hmm.
Anyway, there's this one chick like I said, and it turns out that not only was she a supermodel, but she has spent her life trying to replace Daddy; she says any dude she's with is practically a twin of her father. First of all, I'm on my knees praying her dad is jobless, 100 pounds overweight, has an afro and unbelievable foot odor, because it turns out she's this chick:
She also starts bitching about all the dudes that fuck her once, and then, and I quote, "don't come back for more." What the fuck? Who are these dudes? Good lord. If I got in that shit it would take the Ass National Guard to get me out. Are you fucking kidding me? "From my cold, dead penis!!!!!"
Oh yeah, and she's never had a boyfriend. She tends to fall for a guy and obsess to the point of lunacy, following them around - "If he smiled at me, I'd be high for days; if not, I'd be curled up in bed crying for days." Where are these girls? These psychotically absurd women who are desperate for any kind of intimacy WHO ALSO HAPPEN TO FUCKING BE HOTTER THAN FUCKING BALLS?!??!!!!!!!
Jesus. I gotta start loitering around these fucking rehab places. Seriously.
1 comment:
You know what the old-timer's used to say: "If it's too good to be true..."
Ask yourself this: What sane, unattached, heterosexual man would pass up banging that chick on a regular basis? Not you or I, right? Unless she was batshit crazy or something.
I mean, c'mon, she's a regular on 3 straight Dr. Drew shows, for Pete's sake. That oughta be a clue.
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