- you can't see the forest for the trees, which isnt your fault since youre probably in line right now to get tickets to that O'Reilly/Beck Comedy Tour Doubleheader coming up, giddy at getting one of those things you shake up and it snows inside with them hugging in it. so we can agree to agree that Im right, youre wrong but also shorter than me, and always will be, you should probably stick to things you know (Lethal Weapon IX, DT & the Shakes 1986-mid 1986)
- get your head out of your ass and dont fall for it every time she cries "victim!" Be a man. get the starbursts out of your groin and think for yourself for once. you stupid, stupid, little man.
- again, and im typing this slowly so you can read it: it bothers you because she told you you should be bothered by it. Sit Marley, sit! woof!
- thats saying that a candidate should have the same level of outrage for a photo from a photo shoot for a magazine cover and a photo taken out on the street by your cell phone from the street, on a rare break from dialing 1-900-BOY-COCK. ergo, there should be no outrage at all allowed, ipso omnibus youridetheshortbus Palin has no right to beef and ex procter ergo hoc you're a jackass. drink some Ovaltine, play with your Alex P. Keaton kitchen doll-set, have an adult spell this out for you and let me know where you are.
- Seems like a waste of fingerprints, but im willing to be amused by you. We'll call that the "kiddie table." If you'd like to speak with the adults, including "talking about Palin is a waste of time and makes you an idiot," ill be right here. (waving arms so you can see me)
- my original point, if I may lead you back to it by your little, grubby, Dan Snyder-loving paws,...so, to re-iterate since you probably didnt read it the first time cause you were crafting your next "quit picking on Sarah!" nonsensical steaming pile , Congressmen dont have to outmart themselves. are we clear, sweetheart? can I Fed Ex Field some pictures over to you?
Of course, unfortunately, trumped in the end by Marley. Cap doffed!!! DAMN YOU MARLEY!!!!! (fists shaking at sky)
God. It's worse than I thought.
I should have seen the signs
7/18/07
Xmastime tries to cut out the wife
"John Edwards is my guy, but Elizabeth Edwards needs to shut the fuck up. You are not the candidate, your husband is - your job is to dress nice, smile and be friendly to as many people as possible. I'm sure you're a great person, I respect you, but you can only hurt your husband's chances by opening your mouth. When did this shit begin, where wives of Presidents or candidates have to matter? . . . Please, Liz - shut up!"
7/19/07
Xmastime makes up a bio for Edwards
"but the fact is he DID grow up poor in a mining town and then was raised up to middle class with his father’s rising in the ranks."
and then provides a messianic plan where Edwards rejects politics and "Washington" (perhaps to room with a certain Fatty McChumplestiltskin?)
"I can’t help but feel that if Edwards does lose, poverty may be better off for it - like Gore, he can say eff Washington and dedicate himself to his real passion."
4/25/08
Edwards becomes an almost Dali Lama-like influence, making Xmastime re-think his way of life and plumb his dark past.
"If someone says 'John Edwards sucks!!' I can't just screed back 'no, you suck!' I have to sit back and think well, DOES Edwards suck? As a rule, I am an emotional man...I see things in black and white and explode thusly; frustration and the knowledge of superiority lead to my spitting out spectacular venom on right vs. wrong. But the great thing about being Xmastime means I have to step back, dry off the page, and become my own devil's advocate. Slow logic trumping quick rage. Every time."
8/6/08
Denial.
"I'm suspicious about the validity of the whole Edwards love child thing. Not because I think he's above it, but because I feel like if there was even a 0.0001% chance of it being true the Rovian dogs would've already shredded it to bits, finding a way of course to smear Obama indirectly."
11/16/08
The personalities meld.
"Today on Meet the Press while speaking about the possible auto industry bailout Tavis Smiley mentioned the "P-Word": poverty. This jumped out at me because over last 2 years the only people who have even brought up poverty are me and John Edwards (BFF!)"
"Tries to cut out the wife." Still pissing myself. And I didn't even mention "Super Husky"!!!
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