Good Grief to Allah

The President loves Allah, hates Peanuts:

The mayor of a suburban Memphis city accused President Barack Obama of deliberately timing his speech about the war in Afghanistan this week to block the airing of the "Peanuts" Christmas television special.

According to The Commercial Appeal, Arlington Mayor Russell Wiseman posted the statements on his Facebook page and said the president is Muslim. Obama is Christian.

"We sit the kids down to watch 'The Charlie Brown Christmas Special' and our muslim president is there, what a load.....try to convince me that wasn't done on purpose," he wrote, according to the newspaper.

It's hard to wrap your head aeround how funny this is. First of all, his very name "Wiseman." Based on what we know of him at this point, that would be like Lindsay Lohan's name being Lindsay Talentedyoungwomanwhohashershittogetherandinnowayisgoingtoendupdeadinadumpstersoon, right?

Of course, one could accuse Mayor McDickcheese here of in subverting his fellow right-wingers' "there is nothing more important than the troops and these wars!!" mantra by insisting a children's cartoon takes precedence over, you know, national security. Although yes, if Linus all of a sudden takes his precious blanket and wraps it around his head, that would be a problem. I would also suggest Wiseman take advantage of living in an age where someone could, I don't know, have access to such a cartoon in a handy, digital form via dvd or the internet, or even a video cassette tape from what I'm sure is an about 670,000 square foot Wal-Mart in the middle of Arlington. But in his defense, I have never been to Arlington TN, so if I said that the town wasn't actually taking place back in time I would have to admit I was lying, so.

But the best part is that if Obama had a really awesome sense of humor and heard this story, he'd show up the next time (Tuesday) they're scheduled to air the Peanuts joint and announce he wants to make another speech. And then every time after that too, every time they reschedule. This next time he can talk about Afghanistan some more, then the time after that, maybe Iraq, and he keeps going until it's December 23 and he's on camera reading out his high school yearbook to us, or spending 30 minutes talking about carrots. Now THAT would be fucking awesome!!

Also awesome: if Angelina Jolie and Jenifer Aniston each went dressed as the other for Halloween.