Great 2009 Xmastime Moments

5. Beverly Hills, 90210 - again. How is this not #1? A show that had at least 3 different “Golden Eras.” Should be preserved in a time capsule if only for giving us Valerie Malone. Proof that, as in real life, if you have at least three friends then the total numbers of times between you all that you get busted for drunk driving, raped, shot at, embroiled in a cocaine-fueled cult, caught in fires and held at gunpoint on live tv should be somewhere in the 700-750 range. Hell, and that’s just Kelly Taylor.
Mrs. Xmastimes: too many. Even Mrs. Walsh looked fuckable after a while. Abstaining. And by that I mean I've stained my abs upon issue just thinking of all the T&A in this show. (Insert "well, where my abs would be" joke here.)